Would you like a garbage bag mam?

First of all, let me warn you: If the idea of my blogging about throw-up to the public is "unladylike" to you then you better stop reading. I would say it's not a particularly gross story, just more of a comical one. Either way, read at your own will.

You know how when you're in a panic and you need something right now and you are trying to communicate with someone and your words just don't come out right? Well that is not how this happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have been more clear.

Mark and I had just finished a fabulous meal at Maggianos. We shared half orders of everything--fried zucchini, gnocchi in pesto alfredo, divine creme brulee, and spumoni ice cream. Not to mention the all-you-can-eat (sorta) bread loaf and oil+vinegar. I think without a baby in my belly, I could have handled all of that. Anyway, we decided to walk around the mall for a minute before we had to go pick up Noah. I was feeling pretty stuffed and uncomfortable at this point and so we sat down at some chairs in the food court. as soon as I sat down, I knew it was going to be bad. I looked around frantically for anything that could be of use. All I can see is the garbage (one within a cabinet and a flap on the side) and 2 tray return cabinets next to it. I was thinking, there is probably some extra garbage bags in that cabinet. Unfortunately, two security guardish type people were standing in my way. I walk over and open one the cabinets and say "I'm going to throw-up, I need a bag." One of the workers closes the cabinet and says "use the garbage can." I repeat myself a little more emphatically thinking what the heck, I do NOT want to stick my head into this garbage can flap! Again, she points at the garbage can and tells me to use it. Time's up. I shove my head into the flap and out comes my dinner. I have to say, I had pretty darn good aim. I take my head out, to see the lady starting to pull out a bag (still folded up) from the cabinet I had tried to get into. She hesitatingly asks if I need it. time's up again. I shove my head into the stupid flap and throw up a couple more times. Again, I had great aim for the totally awkward position I had to hunch over into and twist my neck to get in there. Only some of it was on the flap and running down the front of the garbage cabinet. By now Mark has returned with some napkins and the lady has fully opened the bag. "would you like a garbage bag mam?" OOh I let her have it. "I could have really used that BEFORE I had to shove my head into a garbage can to throw up." She says, "Oh, well I thought you were going to open the door to the garbage can." I glare at her and repeat myself again while I'm wiping my face off and throwing napkins into the large bag she gave me AFTER I threw up. wow, thanks for the bag.

I think I did a pretty good job at communicating my needs. At least SHE could have opened the door for me--how was I suppose to know there was a door there??

Anyway, Mark and I left and made fun of the women and Mark complimented my aiming skills and all in all, we thought it was pretty funny. Unfortunately, the rest of the night wasn't so funny after realizing that my "outburst" had nothing to do with being pregnant but everything to do with having the stomach flu. boo. It was a long night.